If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
