Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i out mim tonsoeep
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
