I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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