ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
