I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
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I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
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I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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