I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize