She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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