the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize