i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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