I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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