my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Can I color on your dick again?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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