Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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