Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
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i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
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God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i've created a new STD.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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