So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
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my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
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Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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