yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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