this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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