I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
