So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
