he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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