Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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