i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
