On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
