i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
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