i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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