i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
