"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We are two peas in an std pod
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
