i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
