Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
