dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
