why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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