the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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