take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize