Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
