I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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