'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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