stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
