That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
