you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
