Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
