I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
