I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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