I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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