Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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