Define "chronic" masturbator.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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