PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
