She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
