You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Come share oat with me in your robe
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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