Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
