just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
