pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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