i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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