best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
