All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
