Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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