i wish my penis had a tongue
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize