She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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