I must be too annoying 4 u.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Life is so much better after having sex.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
