Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
