he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
