Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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