He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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