I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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