lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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