the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
it glows. i had to have it.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
