I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
